There’s a reason forgiveness feels so difficult: it’s not just emotional—it’s spiritual. Forgiveness is one of the primary ways God protects your heart, your peace, and your future.

Because when you don’t forgive, the pain doesn’t just “stay in the past.” It starts building something in the present.

1) Unforgiveness Traps the Soul

Jesus said it plainly: offenses will come (Luke 17:1). In a world full of imperfect people, hurt is inevitable.

But what happens after the offense is the crossroads:

• Do I hold onto it?
• Do I replay it?
• Do I collect payment for it?
• Or do I release it?

Proverbs gives a mature target: it’s wisdom to be slow to anger—and it’s glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11). Not because the offense was “nothing,” but because wisdom refuses to let it become everything.

Don’t give the devil a foothold

Paul warns us:

• “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry… and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26–27)

A foothold is access. It’s a small opening the enemy uses to influence your attitude, your reactions, your relationships, and your peace.

And one of the clearest ways footholds form is through unresolved anger and unforgiveness.

Important distinction from the notes:

• A foothold is not a stronghold.
• But footholds can become strongholds if they’re allowed to stay.

The goal is to close the door early.

Bitterness is a root—if it stays, it spreads

Hebrews warns about a “root of bitterness” that grows, causes trouble, and impacts more than just you (Hebrews 12:15).

Bitterness rarely announces itself. It lingers quietly:

• sarcasm becomes normal
• cold distance becomes “boundaries” (even when it’s really resentment)
• cynicism becomes your personality
• distrust becomes your default

That’s why the notes hit it hard: Do not allow bitterness to linger and create a foothold. Forgive.

2) Forgiveness cancels a debt

One of the cleanest definitions from the notes is this:

Forgiveness is releasing the right to collect what I’m owed.

Because when someone hurts you, something feels owed:

• an apology
• respect
• restitution
• the “version of life” you should’ve had
• acknowledgement
• consequences

But forgiveness says:
“I’m not denying what happened. I’m releasing my right to hold this over you—and I’m placing justice in God’s hands.”

Don’t repay evil with evil—vengeance belongs to God

Romans 12 is direct:

• Do not repay evil with evil…
• Vengeance is the Lord’s. (Romans 12:17–19)

Revenge feels like control, but it’s a trap. It keeps you tied to the offense. It keeps the wound in charge.

Forgiveness is not letting them “win.”
Forgiveness is refusing to keep losing your peace.

“As Jesus forgives, so do I”

Colossians raises the standard:

• “Forgive… as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

That means forgiveness isn’t based on whether they earned it. It’s based on what Jesus has done in you—and what He’s calling you to live out through you.

3) The Cross is the Power and Pattern of Forgiveness

This is the center of the message:

The cross is both the power and the pattern of forgiveness.

Jesus—sinless, blameless—suffering on a cross… chose forgiveness.

So forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s Christlikeness.
It’s not denial. It’s discipleship.

The main point: Take up your cross daily and follow Jesus

This is where it gets real, because forgiveness often isn’t a one-time event—it’s a repeated decision.

Jesus calls us to a daily cross:

• daily surrender
• daily release
• daily obedience
• daily choosing freedom

And when you ask, “How many times do I have to forgive?” Jesus’ answer (the “7x70” idea) points to a lifestyle, not a limit.

What to do this week

If you want a practical way to apply the message:

1. Name the debt honestly. What do you feel you’re owed?
2. Release your right to collect it. Say it to God clearly.
3. Close the foothold. Stop feeding the replay. Stop rehearsing the offense.
4. Bless where you can. Not because they deserve it—but because you refuse bitterness.
5. Practice daily forgiveness. When it comes back up, release it again.

A simple prayer...

Jesus, I release the debt I’ve been holding.
I close every foothold bitterness has created in me.
I trust You with justice. I choose forgiveness.
Teach me to take up my cross daily and follow You—free and clean in heart.
Amen.

From Pastor Jim Kilgore 2.8.26